‘How To Give The Wrong Impression’ by Katherine Heiny

How To Give The Wrong Impression by Katherine Heiny, 1990

The magic trick:

Disguising a fairly standard girl-meets-boy romance with a second-person narration

I’m extremely into The Voidz right now. It’s almost all I listen to. The Voidz, I should note, are the band Julian Casablancas formed sometime after, in, and around The Strokes’ demise as a full-time band. He sings almost every Voidz song with his voice disguised in a sea of auto-tune.

I love it, personally. But it does strike me as a way to cover up insecurity while also manufacturing the appearance of innovation. Like, I hate my voice and I’m not sure how amazing this melody is, but doesn’t it sound cool with this weird effect on it?

And I say this lovingly about the Voidz, because, as I said, it’s all I want to listen to lately.

Anyway, the clsssic Voidz/Katherine Heiny tie-in is this:

Here in “How To Give The Wrong Impression,” we have what really is a fairly standard girl-meets-boy love story. But when you use the second-person narration that turns the story into a how-to lesson for the reader, it’s like sprinkling auto-tune effects on the vocal.

It might not make the story more innovative, but it distracts you from the lack of innovation in the story.

Which, again, probably feels like a damning with faint praise. But I love The Voidz and I really liked this story!

And that’s quite a trick on Heiny’s part.

The selection:

The girls is Pigeon Lab have a Valentine’s Day party and invite you and Boris. Probably you shouldn’t show him the invitation, since his name is on it and he might wonder why you and he are invited as a couple. Just say, Look, I have a party to go to, want to come?

Sure, Boris says, and the best part of the whole thing is that this way you know without asking that he doesn’t have plans with someone else.

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