They’re Not Your Husband by Raymond Carver, 1973
The magic trick:
Illustrating the big picture crisis of the American male by focusing on one man’s finite problem
We close our Coover, Carver, Cheever week with two Raymond Carver stories. Two stories from different chronological points of his oeuvre. Today’s feature, “They’re Not Your Husband,” comes from the early-middle years, and, yes, that means it was edited by Gordon Lish.
I’d argue it’s very representative of the famed Carver/Lish collaboration. All clipped sentences and raw emotions expressed boldly.
This story focuses on an out-of-work salesman who goes to the diner where his wife works and encourages patrons to notice and compliment her backside. Yes, you read that correctly. That’s really what the story is about.
So what makes these sparse little stories so appealing?
Well, a lot of things, of course. But I think perhaps the central appeal is the chance to observe a character acting almost entirely with selfish motivations. It’s funny. It’s sad. And in some very odd way, it’s very comforting. There is something reassuring about someone who dismisses the chaos of the larger world and focuses solely on their own issue. These Carver/Lish stories are always excellent studies in the small; the displaced anxiety.
Here, we know the man should be worried about finding a job, making more money, being a better father, being a better husband. He can’t handle problems of that magnitude, though. Instead, he wants his wife to lose weight so the men at the diner will be attracted to her.
It’s preposterous – or we see it as preposterous from where we stand. But it makes sense to him. It’s a finite problem. And in focusing on the finite, the story illustrates the big picture insecurities of crises of the American male.
And that’s quite a trick on Carver’s part.
The selection:
Earl Ober was between jobs as a salesman but Doreen, his wife, had gone to work nights as a waitress at a twenty-four hour coffee shop at the edge of town.
One night when he was drinking Earl decided to stop by the coffee shop and have something to eat. He wanted to see where she worked, and there was always the chance he could order something on the house.
He sat at the counter and studied the menu.
“What are you doing here?” Doreen said when she walked up. She handed over an order to the cook. “What are you going to order, Earl?” she said then. “You sure the kids are okay?”
“They’re fine,” he said. “I’ll have coffee and one of those Number Two sandwiches.”
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